Bahan Ka Lauda-1

8 min read

Hay Doston.. Aap sab ke kya haal-chaal hain? Aapne to mujhe thoda bhi rest nahin lene diya.. Mere paas kitne email aaye ki new story jaldi likho.. To lo aap sab doston ke liye main new story lekar aa gayi..

Aap soch rahe honge ki maine kahani ka yeh kaisa naam diya.. Yeh to aap ek gaali hai… Magar doston yeh saari kahani is naam par hi aadharit hai… Aap bas anand lete jao sab samajh aa jayega darasal yeh kahani ekdum real hai… Bas thoda sa apna andaaz mix karke likh rahi hoon.
To chalo ab baatein to hoti rahengi.. Hum kahani ki or chalte hain

Yeh baat 18 August 2013 Mumbai ki raat ki hai… 11 baje kisi ki shaadi ho rahi thi aur naach-gaane ka program chal raha tha.
Stage laga hua tha aur ek behad khoobsurat ladki.. Jiski age koi lagbhag 20 years ki hogi.. Wo naach rahi thi aur tamasha dekhne wale use dekh kar maza le rahe thay. Koi uske chootadon par haath maar deta.. To koi uske mammon ko daba deta.

Sabhi- Arre meri Radha.. Wah kya naachti hai tu.. Uummah… Maza aa gaya.. Tere jism ko to choone de… Arre bhagti kahan hai tu…

Sunil- Arre arre… Bhai sahab meharbani karke baith jao… Dekho aap aisa karoge na.. To hum abhi naach-gaana band kar denge.

Yeh hai Sunil.. Is naatak mandli ka karta-dharta.. Darasal ye log kisi ki shaadi wagairah mein program karte phirte hain baaki aisa koi khaas nahin.. Bas apna guzaara chala lete hain.

Raat ko jab program khatm hua to yeh natak mandli apne ghar ki or chal di.
Raat ke kareeb 2 baje ek chhote se ghar mein ye sab daakhil huye.

Arre main to aapko batana hi bhool gayi.. Inke group mein total 6 members hain.. Sunil jo lagbhag 40 years ka hai… Use aap in sabka boss keh sakte ho.. Baaki 2 Harish aur Manoj… Jo kareeb 28 saal ke honge… Ye mehfil mein gaana gaate hain inke alawa ek chhota ladka hai.. Koi 15 saal ka Anuj.. Tamsaha dekhne wale jab Radha par paise phenkte hain yehi Anuj sab jama kar leta hai.. Iska yehi kaam hai.

Aakhir mein Neeraj aur Radheshyam donon hi lagbhag 20 years ke aas-paas honge.
Neeraj program mein hero banta hai.. Aur Radheshyam heroine.. Jab dance karna hota hai donon saath-saath sabko khush kar dete hain.

Arre arre nahin.. Aap galat samajh rahe ho… 6 members poore ho gaye.. Inke yahan ladki nahin hai.. Apna Radheshyam hi Radha hai.. Wo ladki ki dress mein rehta hai. Uska yehi kaam hai aur sahi maayne mein is poore group ki jaan bhi wahi hai.

Ab yeh aisa kyon hai… Aur is kahani mein aisa kya khaas hai.. Jo main likh rahi hoon.. To doston aap achhe se jaante ho.. Main aisi-waisi kahani nahin likhti.

Is kahani mein wo sab kuch hai.. Jo aapko maza dega.. Magar ab meri kahani hai… To panne dheere-dheere hi khulenge na!
Chaliye aage dekhiye.. Ab kya hota hai.

Radhe- Hat saali kya kutiya jaisi zindagi hai randi bana kar rakh diya hai saalon ne.. Socha tha.. Mumbai jaakar kuch karunga.. Naam kamaunga.. Magar saali kismat yahan kheench laayi.

Neeraj- Arre yaar.. Mayoos kyon hota hai… Ab itne saal ho gaye tujhe yahan.. Aur har baar program ke baad tu aise hi gussa ho jaata hai.
Radhe- Tu to chup hi reh saala… Tujhe kya pata mere saath kya gujarti hai. Jab main ladki banta hoon.. Saala tu ban kar dekh kabhi.. Tab pata chalega..

Neeraj- Yaar tu achhe se jaanta hai.. Tere siwa koi bhi ladki nahin ban sakta.. Phir bhi har baar yehi bolta hai… Ab Bhagwan ne tujhe banaya hi aisa… To hum kya kar sakte hain.

Doston, Aapko bata doon ki Radhe ke jism ki banawat ekdum ladki jaisi thi.. Uska chehra aur badan ekdum ladkiyon jaisa… Chhote-chhote haath aur haath-paon par ek baal nahin.. Yahan tak ki bachpan se aaj tak Radhe ke chehre par bhi baal nahin aaye.. Bhagwan ne usko ladki banate-banate ladka bana diya.. Bas jhaantein aur lauda de diya.. Taaki wo mard lage.. Uske seene par bhi baal nahin thay.

Wah upar wala choochon ko thode bade kar deta to bhi chalta.. Bechara jab program par jaata.. Tennis ki 2 ball laga kar bra pahanta hai… Aur haan aapko ek khaas baat bata doon.

Radhe ka lauda kareeb 8″ ka hai… Aur mota bhi aisa ki.. Haath mein barabar na aaye aur haan mimicry to aisi kamaal ki karta hai khaas kar ladki ki awaaz to aisi nikaalta hai.. Ki sunne wala 1% bhi shak nahin karta ki yeh ladka hai.

Itni baareek aur meethi awaaz nikaalta hai ki ladkon ki hi nikal jaati hai.

Radhe- Yar.. Ye Bhagwan ne mere saath majak sa kiya hai… Mujhe aisa bana diya aur lauda bhari-bharkam de diya.. Saali wo randi Sheela bhi chudwate samay natak karti hai… Kehti hai tu bahut tadpa kar chodta hai… Tujhe jyada paise dene honge.

Neeraj- To saale sahi to bol rahi thi wo.. Tu ek ghanta tak use chodega.. To double paise legi na..
Mera to saala 20 minutes mein hi nikal jaata hai.
Radhe- Pata nahin saala… Mera naseeb hi aisa hai.
Neeraj- Yar ye tere haath par kya nishan hai… Ajeeb sa… Main roz sochta hoon ki poochoo… Par bhool jaata hoon.
Radhe- Pata nahin.. Bachpan ka hai ye… Chal so jaa.. Subah baat karenge.

Neeraj- Yaar Bhagwan ne tujhe aisa banaya hai iske peeche jaroor koi wajah hogi.. Dekh lena ek din tumhein samajh mein aa aayega ki tum aise kyon ho.. Chal so jaa.. Raat bahut ho gayi hai.

Doston, Aap soch rahe honge.. Main yeh kaisi kahani le aayi.. Jismein abhi tak koi ladki ka naam nahin aaya.. To ab aa jayega.. Tension kis baat ka hai… Darasal yeh kahani ka ek pahloo tha. Ab aapko kahani ka doosra pahloo bata deti hoon taaki kahani samajhne mein aasani ho.

Din 19 August 2013, Pune… Subah ke 7 baje ek 45 saal ka kamzor sa aadmi chair par baitha newspaper padh raha tha.

Ye hain Dilip Tyagi.. Achhe-khaase paise wale hain… Inki wife ab is duniya mein nahin hai to bechaare bas gamgeen se rehte hain.

Meera- Good Morning Papa.. Ye lo aapki chai haazir hai..

Doston, Ye hain Meera Tyagi.. Inki beti ki age 18 saal.. Bhara-poora jism hai.. Shararati bahut hai… Apne Papa ki laadli ye dikhne mein ekdum Alia Bhatt jaisi lagti hai koi 15 saal pehle Maa ki maut ke baad yeh toot si gayi thi… Magar Dilip Jee ne ise itna pyar diya ki isko kabhi Maa ki kami mehsoos hi nahin huyi.

Dilip- Arre tum chai lekar kyon aayi ho… Maine ghar mein naukar kis liye rakhe hain.. Tum kaam mat kiya karo.
Meera- Arre Papa, Yeh koi kaam hai… Ab aapko chai to main hi doongi.. Kyonki aap world ke sabse best Papa ho..
Dilip- Aur tum duniya ki sabse achhi beti ho.. Jao ab taiyar ho jao school nahin jana kya?

Meera ne aage badhkar Dilip Jee ke gaal par ek puppy di aur ‘I Love You’ kaha aur wahan se apne kamre mein chali gayi.

Dus minute baad wo jab wapas aayi.. Dilip Jee ki aankhon mein aansoo thay… Wo newspaper mein dekh kar ro rahe thay… Meera unke paas aayi aur newspaper mein dekhne lagi ki aisi kya khabar hai.. Jo uske Papa ki aankhon mein aansoo aa gaye.

Newspaper mein ek 5 years ke bachhe ka photo tha.. Neeche likha tha gumshuda ki talaash.
Bas yehi wo khabar thi… Meera samajh gayi ki Papa kyon ro rahe hain.
Usne jaldi se newspaper Papa se cheen liya aur gussa ho gayi.

Meera- Papa hadh ho gayi… Yeh kya baat huyi.. Itni si baat ke liye aap ro pade.. Aise kaise chalega Papa.. Please..
Dilip- Meera yeh itni si baat nahin hai… Aisi khabar dekhta hoon to apne aapko kosta hoon.. Meri wajah se ye sab hua hai kaash.. Main wahan nahin jaata to achha hota kaash…

Dilip Jee foot-foot kar rone lage to Meera bhi unse lipat kar rone lagi.
Kaafi der tak wo donon aise hi rahe.. Tab kahin unki naukrani ne aakar unko samjhaya.. To wo chup huye.

Phir Meera apne school chali gayi aur Dilip Jee wahin rahe.

Inki naukrani ke baare mein bata doon.. Iska naam Mamta hai.. Iski age koi 20 saal hogi.. Saal bhar pehle iski shaadi huyi hai… Iska jism bhi bada maadak hai. Lambe baal.. Gehua rang aur iske chooche ekdum tane huye.. 34″ ke hain. Kamar theek-thaak hai aur uthi huyi gaand bhi 34″ ki hai.. ye dikhne mein badi kaamuk lagti hai… Magar ye apne kaam se kaam rakhti hai subah aati hai shaam ka khana bana kar wapas chali jaati hai.

Doston umeed hai ki aap ko meri kahani pasand aa rahi hogi.. Main kahani ke agle bhaag mein aapka intezaar karungi… Padhna na bhooliyega.. Aur haan aapke patron ka bhi besabri se intezaar hai.
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Written by

guruji